Chapter Excerpt from the book Reclaiming Our Children: Parental Denial and It’s Dangers

One of the most difficult situations ever to be faced by a parent is the possibility that their child may be on the verge of exhibiting conduct and thought patterns that they have always associated with “other” children who are usually categorized as having received less parenting.

“That will never be my child”. “No, not my child, you’re mistaken he/she would never do such a thing or act out in such a way”. These are words that are uttered very often by parents who have come to “underestimate” the power and reach of negative influences. As if to suggest that something being wrong with a child is somehow demeaning to they themselves. This is one of several viewpoints that ultimately lead to denial or unwillingness to face the fact that a child, their child, your child now has an issue or problem that needs to be addressed. It can be a hard pill to swallow something difficult to come to terms with therefore giving harvest to the fruit of denial. Unresolved issues will almost always take root and nourish themselves to the point of manifesting what I call “life altering” behavior. Parents who are in denial regarding their child’s negative behavior are doing the child the worst possible disservice with respect to that child’s life. Denial causes the behavior to go unchecked and take root within the child’s psyche becoming strong enough to manifest itself in life altering behavior.

I refer to this type of behavior as life altering because that is exactly what it causes. It causes one’s life to become altered usually by entering the penal system or by becoming tagged with a conviction be it a misdemeanor or worse, a felony, that life has at that point been altered.

Parental denial fosters a more compelling danger, it fosters enhanced opportunities for the manifestation of “life altering” behavior, actions and deeds that serve as the usual manifestations of negative thoughts that have been allowed to become deeply rooted in the psyche of the child over time. Negative thoughts are to the mind what weeds are to a beautifully manicured lawn. The concept is the same- if weeds are allowed to become rooted they soon begin to choke out otherwise beautiful living grass. It’s not just as simple as getting rid of the weeds once and being assured they’ll never return, a lawn requires regular seasonal treatment to keep weeds from taking root. Negative thoughts are the same the mind requires regular seasonal treatment to keep negative thoughts (weeds) from taking root within the mind. This is accomplished through regular treatments of proper spiritual influences or morality reinforcements (teachings) because with the changing of seasons, each season will present its challenges to one’s life. We must constantly remind ourselves of our inherent goodness (god-within), reinforce our inherent goodness (god-within) with constant actions and deeds that are reflective of this goodness (god-within). Children must be cultivated in the same manner. They require constant reinforcement, especially as they are constantly developing.

There is no greater role model or someone to look up to more to a child than a parent. The first heroes and sheroes to any child are mommy and daddy. Therefore mommy and daddy are gardeners entrusted by the universe to plant and cultivate within the rich soils of the mind the most righteous and moral thoughts that when planted will yield the best fruits in the form of actions and deeds. This is a huge and critical undertaking in that what they are and what they will contribute towards its continued development. We hold most children become what we as their parents’ plant cultivate and nourish either consciously or unconsciously, knowingly or unknowingly. It is an honor to rear the noblest and most upstanding men and women who will enter the world and benefit the world with who and the power to produce the best or worst members of our society, as each one of us today reflect both what we were and were not taught. Denial yields an inherent danger that allows thoughts and behavior to go unchecked often for years. In doing this these thoughts and manifested behavior become the driving forces that determine actions and deeds those that can result in deep scars upon one’s life, scars that reflect deeper wounds that may not ever have the chance to properly heal thus altering the course of one’s life.

Therefore it becomes imperative that we reclaim our children, all of our children those knowingly lost as well as those potentially unknowingly lost.

Taken from the book: Reclaiming Our Children by Robby G. Dixon

For more valuable information please visit: http://www.reclaimingourchildren.com

 

 

Monday, August 2, 2010 Book Review: “Reclaiming Our Children”

Title: Reclaiming Our Children
Author: Robby G. Dixon
Publisher: C’Lestial Publishing. LLC
ISBN, PUB Date: 9780965183420, March 2009
Reviewed By: Traci for Author Exposure

A child’s defiant and hostile behavior does not necessarily suggest they are destined for imprisonment. That’s usually the forgone conclusion when you see a dysfunctional kid being disrespectful to people or personal property. You may think such a child will only get worse and eventually end up in jail. But, what if that child was incarcerated before the bad behavior erupted? Would you have recognized it? Would you have considered anything else?

I didn’t until I sat down to read Reclaiming the Children. In this book, Dixon discusses the effect of spiritual and mental influences on a child’s self-image and how it can lead to physical imprisonment. He focuses on three types of imprisonment: spiritual, emotional, and physical.

Through the use of biblical references and examples drawn from his own troubled youth, Dixon promotes the awareness of spiritual influences and the need for spiritual counseling. He specifically states, “I don’t believe one must believe in a universal God-power to be morally sound” (11). Oftentimes, the principles of right and wrong are called into question when heightened emotions are involved.

Rearing the emotional balance of a child is just as important as nurturing a sound moral and spiritual foundation. It is only through creating a conscious home environment, understanding the value of self-worth, and breaking the cross-generational cycles of bad behavior that a child can begin to head in a direction of positive influences.

So, what exactly sets this book apart from any other story? As aforementioned, Dixon is a unique authority in the field, having been a juvenile offender himself. In fact, the author first identified this three-fold approach during his own incarceration. He clearly presents his ideas with the latest research, using relevant personal examples to illustrate each point. Perhaps the most outstanding quality of this book is that the author did not set out just to tell his story, he set out to educate and change the way children are raised.

Remember the old adage, it takes a village to raise a child? After reading this book, you will want to build a village to help create a stable and enriching environment for your child. Reclaiming Our Children is a short, easy-to-read handbook suitable for adults as well as teens that are struggling to strike a balance between their maturing identities and societal influences. I highly recommend this book as a tool of discussion for mentors and mentees.